Introduction.

Something that drew me to Leeds Conservatoire was its focus on collaborative and student-led work. Having spent much of my spare time during my undergraduate degree in student theatre, I was particularly interested in this unique aspect of its MA programme. During the first semester of the course, I thoroughly enjoyed engaging in our collaborative modules, including the Performance Project module. From a somewhat rocky start with the Our House project to the highly successful Final Act project, I found the process of collaborating with my peers – not just other members of MA Company, but MA Directors, Musical Directors, Creatives, and Dramaturgs – incredibly valuable. I found that we were all able to learn from each other due to our diverse range of backgrounds and learning styles.

Throughout our second semester, in both our Performance Project and Skills for the Musical Theatre Performer modules, I began to realise that I was often unsure of the expectations placed on me in a rehearsal room. I have not previously trained in theatre at a university level, nor do I have professional performance experience – this meant that I was not always aware of the standards and etiquette typically seen and expected in professional rehearsal spaces. I had to adapt very quickly, and I noticed that this was an overarching learning arc for me over much of semester two. In a voice lesson on 11th March 2026, I discussed this with my singing teacher and he suggested I focus on this particular aspect of the experience in this portfolio.

I have chosen to engage with Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle (1988, p. 16) as a way to analyse and evaluate my experiences and actions during the project, their effectiveness and consequences, and what I would do differently in the future if faced with a similar situation.

Division of Roles

Something that was notable about the Wonderful Town project was the absence of the MA Directors, who had overseen our previous projects, due to them undertaking the placement portion of their course. Whilst the MA Musical Directors were able to resume their roles from previous projects, the directorial role was handled by members of MA Company, assisted by our teachers. Other members of Company took on other production roles, such as choreographer and dance captain, which had been previously been undertaken by Company members in previous projects.

Unfortunately, at the time these roles were allocated, I was facing significant challenges in my personal life, and decided against volunteering for the role, as I was unsure if I would be capable of taking on the extra responsibilities these roles required. This was disappointed as I would’ve enjoyed the opportunity to take on a role separate to performing. Ultimately, this did end up being the most sensible decision for myself and the project as a whole. Aside from that, I was looking forward to Company being able to take on different production roles, especially as this had very successful in prior projects, and was excited to explore a new collaborative dynamic.

This more integrated collaborative style allowed for more artistic freedom and flexibility within the Company, as there was a less significant hierarchy between those in production roles and the rest of Company than there had been between the MA Directors and Company. This meant that there was more scope for interpretation within the project, allowing us to create a final product that was shaped by all of us, rather than following one specific directorial ‘vision.’ It also allowed Company members to develop and utilise other skills outside of performing, which, in turn, allowed those of us in non-production roles to observe and learn from them and their unique teaching styles. However, whilst there was a general consensus that those with additional production roles were more ‘in charge’ than those without, it was difficult to know exactly how much authority those roles carried and when they might be expected to override those not in those roles. Additionally, there was also no ‘outside eye’ who could view the project impartially, which lead to problems ascertaining if parts of the project were weaker or unclear.

The collaborative style we followed in Wonderful Town was largely democratic, falling somewhere between Process 4 and 5 on Butterworth’s Didactic-Democratic framework model (2009). This was a change from our previous projects, which had followed a collaborative style more akin to Process 2 or 3, and I found this did impact the rehearsal process. Although having space to individually interpret and develop characters was incredibly liberating as an actor, I felt it did lead to a lack of clarity in the final product. With many of us sharing and switching between multiple roles throughout the performance, I think a consistent interpretation of each character would have made it easier for an audience to understand which actor was playing which role in each scene. In my opinion, prioritising individual interpretation, whilst characteristic of democratic collaboration, had a negative impact on the overall cohesiveness of the project. Furthermore, in this type of largely, but not wholly, democratic process, where some sort of hierarchy of roles did still exist, I often found it was unclear whether it was appropriate for those in non-production roles to speak against those in production roles if they had concerns. This did make the process feel less democratic at times, and made it very difficult, for me, to fully understand my place in the rehearsal room and the level of contribution expected from me. I found it hard to overcome the stereotypical idea that production team members are ‘in charge’ (like in Process 1 on Butterworth’s framework) and I was generally unsure of when to voice my opinions and how much weight those opinions held compared to others’. This held me back in creating my own unique interpretation of my characters, and made me lack confidence in myself and my offers as a performer as I was concerned about overstepping or doing something ‘wrong.’

This project showed me that it is important for me to actively seek clarification on what is expected of me in rehearsal rooms if I am unsure. I had never worked with this sort of collaboration style before, and I spent a lot of the process trying to figure out what I ‘should’ do. If I had asked this question at the beginning of the process, I think I would have been significantly more confident in the rehearsal room, both in terms of my performance and in terms of my contributions to the project as a “creator” or “co-owner.” (Butterworth, 2009). It made me realise that perhaps part of the reason I struggle so much to know what is expected of me in a rehearsal room is that I feel it is something I ‘should’ know, which makes me reluctant to ask for help when I do not know, even if it is a collaboration style I have never encountered before.

If I find myself in a similar situation in the future, I will ensure I clarify what is expected of me in the rehearsal room as soon as I realise I am unsure, rather than trying to work it out for myself. Once I have this clarification, and if appropriate, I will make an effort to overcome my own ingrained ideas of distinct roles and embrace different collaborative styles and voice my opinions and offers, even if they contradict other people’s or I think they may not be accepted by the group, and by taking full advantage of the benefits afforded by more democratic collaboration styles, such as being able to put more of my own ‘spin’ on a character in a way I could not do in a more didactic process.

Time Management.

Something else that proved challenging was the time constraints of the project and how we managed our time in rehearsals. At the beginning of rehearsals, we spent a lot of time consolidating certain parts of the show, as well as spending time ‘playing’ and trying out different things in the rehearsal room as our democratic, integrated process allowed for. However, towards the end of the process, we realised we had not split our time evenly and the blocking of several songs and scenes had to be rushed, or scaled down from our original plans.

I did find this scenario very stressful, although I did try to remain as positive as possible, although I was not always successful. I was annoyed we had, as a group, not been more organised and forward-thinking, and frustrated when I thought back to earlier rehearsals where we had gone over the same content repeatedly.

Although the tension created by our time mismanagement was felt by all of us, it actually created a sense of camaraderie – as a group, we became determined to ensure the final product would be as good as we could possibly make it, even if it was not what we initially wanted. We also focussed a lot of time on personal practice, using each other as a resource to clarify choreography or run lines – this helped us to continue developing effective practice techniques and reminded us that one of the most valuable ways we can learn is from each other. However, the overall feeling of stress affected the democracy of the process, pushing us into a more didactic process as those in production roles had to take more control in order to ensure there was time to rehearse everything we need to. Whilst this was necessary for the good of the project, the shift was jarring and created a lot of confusion. It also meant that some parts of the show were significantly less rehearsed than others, leading to us as feeling considerably less confident in some scenes than others, which added to the aforementioned general lack of cohesiveness in the final product. Having to suddenly learn a lot of material in a fairly short space of time also contributed to general feelings of stress surrounding the project.

This aspect of the process caused a significant amount of confusion for me in terms of what was expected of me in the rehearsal room. Whilst, in our initial democratic approach, we had spent a lot of time developing the show around everyone’s suggestions and research, this became less important as we shifted to a more didactic process. I struggled to adapt to this change, and, coupled with the increasing stress as we tried to finalise the project in a limited time, I did not handle things as well as I could’ve done. After having finally started to understand what was required of me in a more democratic process, I found it jarring having to quickly adapt to a more distinct division of roles. I found this had a significant effect on my enjoyment of the rehearsal process and found it difficult to maintain flexibility and resilience in the rehearsal room. I spent too much time thinking about how the issue could’ve been avoided earlier in the process, and less time accepting that the issue had happened and thinking about how to solve it effectively. On the other hand, this situations did encourage me to put more time into my private practice – since I knew we needed to spent most of our remaining time working on songs and scenes we had not yet covered, I also knew that I had to ensure I was consolidating the material we had already covered so that I could be confident performing it, even if we were not able to spend a significant amount of time rehearsing it in the lead up to the final project.

The timing issues in this project further proved to me how it important it is for me to ask what is expected of me in a rehearsal room. Although this was a difficult situation for everyone involved, I think I could’ve better handled my reactions to this new environment if I had taken time to re-establish the new expectations as we moved into a more didactic process, even though this was less of an active decision and more of a consequence of our time mismanagement. It showed me that I do need to work on my adaptability in the rehearsal room, but I can start taking steps to achieve this by taking time to ensure I am on the same page as everyone else involved in a project, especially those in production roles, even if I am concerned this might take up too much of an already limited timeframe. Overall, it is much better for myself, other people, and projects as a whole to take a short amount of time to recalibrate and discuss the expectations and requirements of a new collaborative style, rather than to spend a longer time being confused and struggling to figure out how to act in this new environment. These timing problems also reinforced to me the importance of private practice – I may not always be able to control rehearsal schedules, but I can always control the time and effort I put into learning and familiarising myself with material, so I can feel as prepared as possible even if a lot of time cannot be spent on it in rehearsals.

If I find myself in a similar situation in the future, I will not be afraid to express my confusion about what is expected of me in a rehearsal room after a change in circumstances or collaborative style. I will also try to accept any changes in circumstances earlier, rather than dwelling on how that change could’ve been avoided, to ensure I can maintain resilience and adaptability in the rehearsal room, without adding to any existing tension. I will also make sure I continue putting emphasis on personal practice and ensure I am revisiting old material regularly throughout the rehearsal process.

Dancing.

A personal goal I had for myself in this project was to be more confident in my dancing. There were three significant dance numbers in this project – ‘Swing,’ ‘Conga,’ and ‘Wrong Note Rag’ – which were choreographed by another Company member including elements of period-typical dance, such as the Charleston and the Lindy Hop (Blackpool Grand Theatre, 2022).

I was nervous about the dancing as it has always been my weakest of the three musical theatre discipline. However, I decided to view this project as a way to challenge myself in terms of dancing and choreography.

As we learned and rehearsed the choreography, I realised that I had actually improved a lot since the beginning of the academic year, both in terms of technique and confidence. I also found that I was a lot faster at picking choreography up and was able to spend less time on learning and more on consolidation. Overall, I noticed a marked improvement in my dancing abilities. However, when the opportunity came to further challenge myself, I did not take it. ‘Swing’ had an optional, more difficult dance break for those who felt they wanted to explore more complicated choreography and show off their dancing skills. Whilst I was present for the rehearsal this was taught and had access to rehearsal videos, I opted out of participating in the dance break in the final performance.

Over the course of this year, I have realised that I have a significant ‘mental block’ when it comes to dancing, and often shut myself off to opportunities where dancing is specifically showcased. Other members of Company with more dance experience than me have been incredibly valuable in helping me overcome this, by spending time clarifying things with me, and this project was no different. The Company members acting as choreographer and dance captain had assumed these roles in previous projects, and I felt very comfortable asking for help if I needed it, and trusted them to explain things to me in a way I would understand without judgement or pressure. However, despite the encouragement of my peers, I was still reluctant to push myself out of my new comfort zone – although I knew I had improved as a dancer, I was not ready to truly challenge my capabilities and decided almost from the get-go that I was not a skilled enough dancer to participate in the dance break, and therefore did not put in the extra effort required to perfect it.

I am proud of my approach to the dances generally, and I have worked hard to overcome my anxiety about dancing, which I know showed in this project. That being said, this project highlighted to me that my ‘mental block’ around dancing has not disappeared; rather, it has simply adapted to fit around my new capabilities and still very much exists, just in a different form. If I want to continue gaining confidence in my dancing abilities, I need to put in extra effort to partake in choreography which actively challenges me in order to truly erase my ‘mental block.’ I think if I had stepped out of my comfort zone in this project, it could’ve been a big turning point in my relationship with dance. Another thing I was pleased with in this project was my ability to ask for help in an area I am not as confident in. Although I struggled to understand what was expected of me in other areas of the project, dance was the one area where I felt I knew what I could ask and when I could ask it, as well as what was expected of me in terms of etiquette when rehearsing. This was something I most definitely struggled with earlier in the year, and is a testament to how much we are all able to learn from each other on the Company course.

If I find myself in a similar situation in the future, I will push myself out of my comfort zone and attempt more challenging dances. I will remind myself that it is alright to fail or to need to dedicate extra time to something that is difficult, and that I will not continue to get better without trying. I will also continue to develop my knowledge of what is expected of me in dance rehearsals and how to continue creating an effective and comfortable learning space.

Conclusion & Next Steps.

Although I do feel that the Wonderful Town Performance Project was unfortunately not an accurate representation of our potential as a cohort overall, I still feel like it was a valuable personal learning experience. It has highlighted to me the importance of advocating for myself and for asking for help when I need it, even if that feels daunting or like it might inconvenience other people. Knowing exactly what is expected of me in a rehearsal room allows me to feel comfortable and confident, helping me stay resilient and adaptable throughout even very stressful or time-constrained rehearsal processes. It has also reinforced to me how much watching and learning from my peers can help me develop as an artist. It has shown me the importance of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and prioritising personal practice in order to continue improving my skills.

Moving forward, I will continue working on understanding the expectations placed on me in rehearsals using different collaborative styles. When problems arise, even those that I find frustrating or think could’ve been avoided, I will focus on finding solutions and working around the problem, rather than dwelling on the circumstances that caused the problem in the first place. I am looking forward to becoming a more flexible artist who is able to advocate for myself to ensure I am well-equipped to get the best results possible from future projects.

Word count: 3,297.

Bibliography.

Athal, K. (2025) Gibb’s Reflective Cycle Explained: A Framework for Structured Self-Reflection. Available at: https://drkrishnaathal.com/blog/gibbs-reflective-cycle-explained-a-framework-for-structured-self-reflection/ (Accessed: April 2026).

Blackpool Grand Theatre (2022) Dance Moves Through Time [Infographic]. Available at: https://www.blackpoolgrand.co.uk/dance-moves-time-infographic (Accessed: April 2026).

Butterworth, J. (2009) Contemporary Choreography. 1st Edition. London/New York: Routledge.

Gibbs, G. (1988) Learning by Doing. Reprint, Oxford: Oxford Centre for Staff and Learning Development, 2013.