Before this project, I’d never been in an ensemble. My music world was my laptop, through Ableton I create my music without ever using any live instruments. When I found out about this project I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but I knew I was out of my comfort zone.

I’d never really played an instrument, so it felt quite intimidating being in a room surrounded by people that do. I was the only person in the ensemble doing the Electronic Music Production course and the only person that couldn’t play an instrument. I didn’t know where I was going to fit in, or if I even was going to fit in and how I could contribute. This feeling continued for a while, I felt out of place and struggled to find a role within the group. In the ensemble, everything was live and happening in real time which is something I wasn’t used to, I struggled to keep up.

This blog is a reflection of how this project went, how it felt trying something completely out of my comfort zone, the ways I tried to involve myself and how the project turned out in the end.

The first week was mainly about settling in and trying to get to know each other. The main ways that we did this were through a few fun group exercises, the main one that comes to mind was a funny rhythmic game that the tutor showed us where everyone clapped a beat in a circle and had to say their name on time. This game obviously had a musical element to it as we were using rhythm and listening, but it also definitely helped to break the ice and get to know each other.

After that, the group spoke about the instruments they play, I was hoping somehow they would skip past me so I wouldn’t have to mention that I don’t play an instrument. It was my turn and I told the group that I’m on the Electronic Music Production course and I don’t play an instrument, I create music through Ableton on my laptop.

The group began to sort of “jam” together and just have fun and kind of see what ideas they could come up with whilst just messing around together. During this, there wasn’t really a way that I could join in, there was no real structure or exact tempo so I couldn’t join in with the use of samples or loops. During this session, I spent most of my time listening and recording the group on my phone to try and understand where I could join in, hoping that by listening and gaining an understanding of the group, I could find a way I could contribute.

It was time for the second week, I felt a bit more relaxed within the group, but still wasn’t sure what my role was going to be. Throughout the session, the group started to work with a set tempo and this helped the group come up with some ideas. This is when I knew I could start to try and get more involved and contribute to the ensemble.

Now that there was a set tempo, I started to search through different loops and textures on platforms such as Splice and Loopcloud. Whilst the group played, I introduced some cinematic sounds that I’d manipulated through Ableton. One of the sounds that I added worked really well with how the pianist was playing. This gave me a confidence boost and made me feel involved.

By the third week, the group started to focus on building a full piece and understand what they wanted the final sound to be. The overall idea was starting to come together and most of the conversations in the group were about structure. Including when certain instruments should be introduced and taken away to build suspense and tension. This helped me understand when I could add and remove sounds to help support the group.

Through the use of Ableton, I started to work on transitions between the different sections of the piece. One thing that I focused on was ensuring none of the sounds that I added would be too loud in comparison to the live instruments. This is where all the listening in my first week came in handy, I had a better understand of where my samples would fit and the volumes they should be at in comparison to the live instruments.

There was definitely people in the group that were more involved than me, but I felt good about my role, even if it as a small one. Honestly, at the start of the project, I didn’t even think I’d get this far.

As my perspective on the ensemble was completely different to most of the others in the group, I decided to speak to two people. One of them played the drums and the other was a singer, I was excited to see how they felt about the project.

The drummer stated he was also unsure where electronic production would fit into the live ensemble. He’d been in a band and had played in other groups but they didn’t use any electronic production. He said that over time, as I started to add the cinematic sounds and textures, he started to understand what my role within the group would be and the benefit of having electronic elements in the ensemble. This gave me some confidence and understanding that I was actually contributing to the group.

The singer said that she felt quite nervous when turning up for the first week. She said she was in quite a similar situation to me as she hadn’t done much improvisation and was used to writing and recording in her own time. This reminded me that I wasn’t the only person within the group facing a challenge, and although others in the group may have been more involved and seemed more confident, they were still going through their own challenges. This put me at ease with how I felt when I started the project.

Overall, this was definitely one of the more challenging projects I’ve taken part in. It took me out of my comfort zone, I struggled at the start and didn’t feel very confident. But overtime, I found my role within the group and how I could contribute with the use of electronic production. If I was to do it again, I would try to involve myself earlier on within the project. In conclusion, I am happy with how much I learnt from this experience.