Introduction
During the creation of this portfolio, I have been reminded of so many wonderful events that have occurred throughout this year. I have learned so much, and I feel ready to take on second year. I am also very much looking forward to furthering my craft even more during the rest of the course. However, I am very proud of what I have already accomplished within the first year.
Movement
Figure 1
Movement was more challenging than I expected. I realised early on that I was in need of more strength and stamina, as I struggled with my energy and my capability to do the activities in the first months of the year. This initially made the movement classes rather unenjoyable, but my mindset has now shifted. This is because I now try to look for the joy in each exercise in movement class. I also found the movement more fun as I became more comfortable with it via repetition throughout the year.
There were two key ways in which I was able to track my progress throughout the year, and these were our movement warm-ups. For dance, we were taught a warm-up consisting of cardio, conditioning and stretching. Whilst I have always been inflexible, and still find the stretching portion of the warm-up challenging, I found that I have improved drastically in the cardio section, and slowly but steadily in the conditioning section. For example, I said in Figure 1 for week 4 that “I struggled with the exercise”, but I said for week 35 that “I did my best warm-up yet” (Figure 1). However, since I tend to stop during the press-up section, I will continue to train upper-body strength during the rest of the course. The other warm-up we do is moving through a combination of stretches that allow us focus on ourselves and our mobility. This warm-up helped me to acknowledge how well I was focusing in class, since it was key that we connected our eyes to the movement, which meant that I had to be present. I initially found this quite difficult, but as it became more of a habit, I described it as being “easier” (Figure 1).
A big issue that I had had previously was tension during acting, which may have been caused by my anxious need for perfection. Overcoming this desire for perfection helped to aid the release of tension. In Figure 1, I noted how “I’m getting better at letting my head be dead weight”. This idea of releasing all tension was difficult at first, but once I understood how to achieve it, I found that it was able to help many aspects of my acting, as I wasn’t unintentionally wasting my energy.
I also found within Animal Studies that observational techniques could be very helpful for creating physicality. By studying the anatomy of the animals, I was able to better understand how to use my body to convey the meerkat’s movement. However, a challenge that I found was that I don’t have a tail, and “[m]eerkats use their tail to balance when they stand” (Whitehouse Farm Centre, no date, paragraph 2). Therefore, I had to use my lower body to simulate this. Unfortunately though, I struggled throughout the whole process with moving on all-fours, due to my lack of upper-body strength. This highlights how I will have to train my upper-body muscles to be stronger before second year.
For our assessment, I was worried that I would have to have perfect dancing technique in order to do well. However, we were told that the character choices that we make within the dance would be what was affecting our grade the most. This provided less stress within dance classes, which made them even more enjoyable. I was also able to demonstrate my previous dance experience by doing the tap section of the performance, which was immensely rewarding and challenging. Along with the technicalities of the dance, I was also pleased with my physical choices for my character, which were “raising her shoulders and waving” (Figure 1). I thought that these were able to convey her innocence.
Voice
Figure 2
Before starting this course, I thought that voice training was reserved primarily for one’s singing voice – I was incredibly wrong! Voice training has helped me to become a better, more well-rounded performer, and has also increased my confidence.
Initially, I did not understand the importance of a vocal-warm for speaking, since humans talk everyday without consciously warming up. However, I have realised how much “stronger and healthier” (Figure 2) it made my voice sound and feel. Something that I did not expect would be how physical it was, but this helped me to feel more prepared for all aspects of performance. (See Figure 3 for my vocal warm-up.)
Something that I had not previously recognised the importance of was that of diaphragmatic respiration. Before studying at the Conservatoire, it was something that I had been aware of, but not actively doing. Therefore, if I had needed to do a scene where the character was scared, I would try to mimic the way I would actually speak if I was scared. This may have led to an extremely realistic performance, but it would also be extremely unhealthy and unsustainable. This means that, especially for long runs of shows, the only way to do vocal work is in a healthy manner, which we were told can be achieved via diaphragmatic respiration.
One of the aspects that I found very challenging about vocal technique was understanding resonance. However, I eventually found it easier to switch between my different resonators, which helped to build my confidence. An idea that helped me to understand my resonance is from Linklater. Linklater (2006, page 187) wrote that “[w]e will be looking at the resonating system as if it were a kind of ladder”. I found this idea extremely useful, as it allowed me to realise that different parts of my body can help my resonance in different ways. Another way in which I was able to find a different, more resonant sound was by doing a yawn sigh into speech. In Figure 2, I wrote that I was encouraged “to do a yawn sigh before each line, which increased the resonance and depth of my voice”. This is something that I will have to continue doing, as I still naturally want to go to a higher pitch.
I also found another idea of Linklater’s very helpful. Linklater (2006, page 348) wrote that “[w]hen we talk we are not aware that we are seeing what we say as images”. By viewing my lines not as words, but as “images” (Linklater, 2006, page 348), I had a different way in which to remember my lines. Previously, I had tried to remember the way in which the lines look on the physical page from which I learned them, which would lead to a clunky performance. Therefore, by thinking of something more visually interesting than words on a page, it added more interest to the words, which will make me a better storyteller.
The area in voice that I was most excited to learn about was accents, which I have always found very interesting. However, I also discovered that this was the most challenging aspect of this module. After initially doing well in a standard English accent due to it being very similar to my own accent, I was surprised with how much I struggled with learning the Yorkshire and Scottish accents. Therefore, I ought to work on different accents before second year.
In my assessment, I was able to play with resonance in order to convey the different characters. I was very happy with my decision to use nasal resonance for the youngest character, as this was able to convey his youth. I was also able to use the idea of tempo to show his youth, by going quickly to highlight his energy. I was also able to emphasise his mother’s wisdom by having her speak at a slower tempo, and with a lighter tone. However, I was worried about whether I would be able to repeat such vocal choices for eight shows a week, so I really want to focus on building my vocal stamina before second year.
Music
Figure 4
Music has been one of the most challenging and rewarding modules of the whole course. At first, I found it rather difficult, due to the different teaching methods compared to what I had been used to previously. As opposed to the main idea of playing the piece correctly that my previous music teachers had taught me, a core idea being taught on the Actor-Musician course was that of storytelling. We learned that music could be used to convey anything, which was especially apparent as we used our bodies and voices to create different soundscapes. At first, I did not understand the purpose of these exercises, but the more we did it, the more scenes we were able to convey. This will be very useful in our shows, as it will allow us to quickly establish the setting of a scene.
One of the most important lessons that musicianship has taught me is that of non-verbal communication. One project that we did was underscoring a piece of prose. This was initially challenging as it was difficult for us to have the correct timing, since it was not a song, but an accompaniment to a recited text. Therefore, we had to use non-verbal communication, which will be key when we are performing in shows, as we cannot stop and discuss what’s happening in the middle of a performance. We did this as “[w]e used non-verbal communication by carefully watching each other to ensure both our music and actions were in time with each other” (Figure 4). We also had some verbal cues, which also ensured that we were able to play in time with each other.
Something that has improved significantly throughout the past year has been my self-confidence. This has been especially prominent in my newest instrument, the bass guitar, which I had no previous experience of. In Figure 4, I wrote that “in my first bass lesson, I found it difficult to move around the fretboard”, and I was very surprised at how quickly I was being taught bass-lines that were very much out of my comfort zone. For the following weeks, I was consistently very nervous when I was shown something new, but found that I was very able to pick it up. This made me realise that I should have more self-confidence, and I was able to present this as we were preparing for the ensemble music assessment, where “I found the bass part easy enough” (Figure 4).
I was also rather surprised with how I felt in the ensemble singing classes. When I was younger, I used to be very confident in my singing abilities, but as I’ve learned more about proper technique, the less it feels like I actually know. Within the first term, I consistently seemed to have a somewhat sore throat, meaning that I could not get as much from the sessions as I would have liked. Whatever the cause was, that is a strong reminder to ensure that I am using healthy technique, so that I do not lose my voice more than I have to. A breakthrough moment in singing was in Week 18, where “we discussed the idea of registers in a completely different way” (Figure 4) compared to how I had been taught before. I realised that I had quite a common problem of only using what I had known as my upper register, as I was less comfortable with singing with my speaking voice. I was taught how to manage it in Week 24, where Craig changed “the key [of the song that I was singing] and suggest[ed] that I use the word ‘bim’ for the melody instead of singing the words” (Figure 4). I intend to do exercises like this before second year, to gain more vocal strength and confidence.
For my group assessment, I was initially very overwhelmed by the amount of music that we had to learn. The idea of learning two songs that I would use three instruments and singing for seemed very challenging, and I was unsure as to how well I would be able to achieve this. For Week 28, I said that “I found it very difficult to sing and play at the same time” (Figure 4), but for Week 29 I wrote that “we did both pieces the best we’ve ever done them” (Figure 4), highlighting how my confidence had grown.
For my solo assessment, I worked on creating a mini pantomime-style story. Whilst I was confident in my abilities at first, for Week 30, I wrote that “I played my flute, but my tempo was all over the place. Laura suggested that I ground myself with my tempo in my heels” (Figure 4). This idea helped the piece to sound stronger. Something that I had not considered was how seriously and intentionally I would have to take the characters, despite the atmosphere of the performance as a whole being very light. In Week 34, “Laura said [that] I need to be very intentional about my physicality” (Figure 4). Therefore, it is important to remember that I will be acting whilst playing music, rather than simply playing music as myself.
Acting
The acting module has been consistently enjoyable and interesting throughout the year. Due to it, I have been able to develop a process that will help me to understand and embody characters in the future.
A key idea that we were introduced to very early on was that all drama consisted of objectives, obstacles and tactics. Whilst I had previously learned about this in a Stanislavskian sense, which definitely worked for me at the time, I found that this was more resonant when approached during our studies of Mike Alfreds. According to Alfreds (2007, page 49), “[p]ursuing an objective means trying to change the situation”. This made me reconsider why a character would want to do something in the first place, and Alfreds (2007, page 49) wrote that “characters are unhappy or dissatisfied with their current situation and want to change it”. This helped me to understand a greater depth to a character’s objectives, since their motivation is more nuanced than merely wanting something.
We learned about a practitioner whom I had never heard of before: Uta Hagen. In her book, she wrote that “[a] great danger is to take the five senses for granted” (Hagen, 2023, page 60). When I started thinking about what my senses would experience in a scene, I found it extremely immersive. This can help me with understanding how a character would react in specific scenarios, since imagining their senses can help me to understand what reaction would be the most appropriate. Another technique that Uta Hagen uses is that of “the fourth wall” (Hagen, 2023, page 109), where an actor can “place your [their] imaginary objects at the back or sides of the auditorium or in the aisles” (Hagen, 2023, page 108). I found this very helpful, since it allowed me to know where my eye-line could go, which can show off more emotion to the audience, as it ensures that I won’t be looking down and blocking them out.
One of my favourite sections of the entire course was improv, as it was always incredibly freeing. In our very first lesson, Alex told us that good drama does not answer all questions immediately. This makes sense, as otherwise the audience would have no reason to continue watching! Improv classes were also were I conquered my fear of silence within a scene. This is because I learned that silence is very often the most realistic response, and it can provide the audience with more satisfaction than unnecessary rambling. Therefore, I must remember in my future projects that I can create a realistic performance by leaving silence.
An aspect of the course that I found rather challenging to being with was dramatic combat. Initially, I was very scared to fully commit to the actions due to my fear of actually hurting my scene partner. However, I was told that this could actually be more dangerous, so I did my movements full-out after being told that. Later in the term, I was told that I had very good ideas for the choreography for our final fight scene, which I was very pleased with.
For the assessment for this module, we looked at characters from Joe Orton’s The Ruffian on the Stair and applied Stanislavskian techniques to them for a five minute improvisation. As this was the first assessment that we were going to do, this was rather stressful. However, the more I worked on it, the more fun I realised that it was. Something that really helped me to understand my character was rereading the play and making a list of everything was revealed about her throughout the play (her “given circumstances” (BBC, no date, paragraph 2)). This in-depth analysis of my character helped me to understand everything that was going on in her life, rather than just viewing her on a scene-by-scene basis. This technique therefore helped me to do a more naturalistic performance. However, I did not feel fully immersed in this performance, as I still recognised that I was myself playing a character, rather than being just the character. Tom told me that this necessarily wasn’t a bad thing, and knowing that means that I can become more comfortable in my acting.
Research for Performance
I found the Research for Performance module the most challenging, as it often required a lot of focus that I did not consistently have. Along with that, it was a module that required us to properly reference our sources in the assessment, which is something that I found incredibly stressful. However, since it introduced me to many new concepts, I thought that it was really interesting.
The most challenging aspect of this module was that our Friday morning lectures were online. This then led to me not feeling particularly engaged throughout the sessions, as I found that my environment being my bedroom was very distracting, since it allowed me to think that I could allow this lecture time to be time for me to get ready for the rest of the day. As a result of this, I rarely had my camera on, which meant that I did not interact with others as much as would have been beneficial. Therefore, I must learn from my mistakes and participate in online lectures in an active way. I will try to remember to turn my camera on, as this will encourage me to be as ready for an online lesson as much as I would be for an in-person lesson.
I am really excited to use the techniques that I have learned in this module in the future. One of these is the idea that research is not limited to one specific area, but can be done by reading the play and observing real life. This level of variety has allowed me to properly understand the characters and stories that I have portrayed in this module. I used lots of these resources (especially those that could be accessed online) to fully understand what a character wanted. This research therefore really helped me to understand the nuance of the characters and their situation.
A key concept that was really highlighted to me in this module was the idea of showing instead of telling. Whilst I had always been aware of this (as otherwise the drama being presented would be rather boring!), it never really solidified in my mind until this year. This will serve as a reminder that even if I say all of the necessary exposition, that doesn’t mean that it will reach the audience.
For our assessment, we had to do a group project, which I really struggled with. This is because I prefer having a director who is definitely in charge, since I found it really difficult to know how much each of us would have to do in order to for it to be equal. Therefore, unsupervised work is something that I will have to work on throughout the rest of the course. However, I learned even more about myself and my process of making theatre because of how unsupervised this project was. Along with that, I found the research element of it very interesting, as it allowed me understand how theatre can help the world to become a better place.
Self as Artist
This module has helped me to grow significantly as a performer, and view myself in a more balanced light. Initially, my reflections were less positive, as I always wanted to be aware that I had room to improve. However, I have learned throughout this year that it is important to acknowledge what I can do well, as I would otherwise have much less self-confidence than I do now.
Self as Artist has also changed the way in which I view others’ work. Before, I would simply notice if I liked or disliked a piece of art that I saw, but now I am more inclined to look at why this is. For example, when I saw Leeds Conservatoire’s production of Luke Di Somma’s and Gregory Cooper’s That Bloody Woman (directed by Bobby Brook, which I saw on November 9, 2024), I found that I liked it due to how easy it was to follow the story. I also thoroughly enjoyed how the actors were able to convey character whilst playing their instruments, such as the confident protagonist standing tall and playing in a secure manner.
This module has also helped me become more organised and better prepared for my other modules. By doing my regular reflections (see Figures 1, 2 and 4), I have been able to track my progress and see what I have to work on throughout the year. Along with that, we were encouraged by Claire to do wider reading in order to expand our views. One book that I read was by James Clear. Clear (2018, page 15), wrote that “[t]he difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding”. This reminded me that, since I am doing a practical degree, I can do regular practise of my skills to become a significantly better performer (and since this is my degree, a significantly better student, too). As someone who has been very academically inclined throughout my life, I found that this was a slightly difficult truth to accept, but I have realised that it is very true.
Conclusion (and plans for second year)
Overall, this year has taught me many things about myself and the arts of music and drama. My greatest learning of this whole year has been that of my self-confidence. Whilst this was most noticeable in the music module, this was also apparent in the other modules. Before second year, I would really like to build upon this new-found confidence by performing in front of others as often as possible and being able to self-assess myself in both a critical and positive way. This will not only give me more experience in being able to control my nerves (which I know will be important before our assessments next year that go towards our final degree grade!), but also allow me to develop and grow in a way that is more independent than the work done at the Conservatoire. However, a mindset shift that I still have yet to accomplish is that of being so focussed on grades that I prioritise them over the improvement of my skills. This is because I know that, in the industry, casting directors will not be looking at what grade I received in my degree, but the quality of my skills. Therefore, I will have to work on this change throughout the remainder of the course.
I also have found that this year has taught me the technique to healthily and sustainably use my body and voice to be able to tell stories via acting and music. This was most apparent throughout voice and movement, since before the start of this year, I did not know how to speak loudly and clearly in a safe, repeatable manner, or move with good posture and without tension. Being tense was probably my largest problem before training, as it meant that I was using up energy on something that was not improving my performance, and it was limiting the extent to which I could move. Therefore, by releasing this tension, I feel like I am in a much more secure place to start second year. This also applies to voice, as previously, I was not aware of the proper technique to be heard by the audience effectively. However, now that I have a good basis on how to talk with good technique, I am very excited to learn how to show emotion with my voice in second year. I am especially excited to learn how to scream and yell properly, but I know that this process will take time, and I cannot expect myself to be able to do it perfectly immediately.
Before second year, I will also be able to improve upon my singing technique (which unfortunately did not get as thoroughly developed this year as it could have) as I will be having private singing lessons. Hopefully, this will teach me how to properly use my vocal range in a way that is more in-depth than could be achieved via an ensemble singing class. This will help me feel more confident before we do shows that require us to sing. Another thing that I will do over the summer to ensure that my technique is as good as possible is read about the Alexander Technique, which “teaches improved posture and movement, which is believed to help reduce and prevent problems caused by unhelpful habits” (NHS, no date, paragraph 1). This will hopefully allow me to be as confident as possible in using my body in a safe way, which will allow me to be consistently healthy throughout second year.
Another aspect that I am excited to take into second year is my different learning style. This was noticeable across all of my modules, as they were all vastly different from how I learned within a more academic setting. Throughout my previous experience in school, I was very focussed on getting good grades, and I would do this by following the teachers’ teaching style. This resulted in using a lot of presentations, readings and notes, which, despite helping me at the time, are quite different from how I learn now. This year has allowed me to experiment to find out what learning style works for me, and I have found that practical experience is the best way for me to learn and practise my skills. As a result, I now feel confident that in second year, I will be able to learn via activities, rather than having to write everything down.
Before second year, another skill that I really want to work upon is that of making decisions in my own creative work. I would love to be able to further synthesise the skills that I have learned from this year in the creation of my own projects. I believe that this can be done via short films, as they would allow me to work on both my acting skills and the practical, technical skills of working a camera and editing, which are highly important for artists in the entertainment industry.
Finally, in order to ensure that I don’t forget any of the learning that I have done this year over the summer, I must regularly practise the skills that I have learned. One way in which I will do this is by frequently doing the vocal warm-up that I devised for myself, which will allow me to then use my voice. I must then use my articulators, which will help me to say words clearly when I am on stage. I must also practice movement, to ensure mobility for second year. I will do this by stretching and exercising regularly, to increase flexibility and strength. I will also read regularly in order to work my brain, so that I am ready to be creative in second year. I will also practise all of my instruments regularly and try to perform them as often as possible in order to gain experience.
Bibliography
Whitehouse Farm Centre (no date) Meerkats. Available online: https://www.whitehousefarmcentre.co.uk/animal/meerkats-2/ [Accessed 24 May 2025]
Linklater, K. (2006) Freeing the Natural Voice, Kindle version (published on Kindle as Freeing the Natural Voice: Imagery and Art in the Practice of Voice and Language in 2014). Drama Publishers/Quite Specific Media. [Downloaded 2024]
That Bloody Woman by Luke Di Somma and Gregory Cooper (2024) Directed by Bobby Brook. Chroma Q Theatre, 9 November 2024.
Alfreds, M. (2007) Different Every Night: Freeing the Actor, Kindle version (published on Kindle in 2014). Nick Hern Books. [Downloaded 2025]
Hagen, U. (2023) Respect for Acting: Expanded Version, 3rd edition, Kindle version. Jossey-Bass. [Downloaded 2025]
Orton, J. (1976). The Ruffian on the Stair. In The Complete Plays (pp. 30–61). London: Methuen Drama. Available online: https://www.dramaonlinelibrary.com/playtext-overview?docid=do-9781408163184&tocid=do-9781408163184-div-00000003 [Accessed 27 May 2025]
BBC (no date) Stanislavski’s techniques – GCSE Drama Revision. Available online: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zxn4mp3/revision/5 [Accessed 25 May 2025]
Clear, J. (2018) Atomic Habits: The life-changing million-copy #1 bestseller, Kindle version (published on Kindle by Cornerstone Digital). Random House Business [Downloaded 2024]
NHS (no date) Alexander technique. Available online: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alexander-technique/ [Accessed 26 May 2025]
