First year of skills is done. To think back to the uncertainty of where I was a year ago compared to my new perspective on a life within the arts is mental. The festival of Dionysus during ensemble weeks was a lovely introduction into the start of group 2’s ensemble collaboration, beginning to learn each other’s boundaries and ways of creating. Since then the class has built a space to be able to take risks, hold each other accountable and to do our part to keep the ensemble moving forward. The Conservatoire has embedded in me so many useful tools to bring with me into second year, provided from the range of classes and the different industry experience of the tutors leading them. I’ve been surrounded by new and distinct characters that have pushed me to own my own process and be confident in my own distinctness. This year has moved so quickly yet made such a huge impact, it’s been constant and incredibly challenging at times but the moments where everything aligns gives me the reassurance that everything has its timing. 

ACTING 
The classes tailored to acting have transformed my perception of what I thought acting was. Before I came to the Conservatoire I hadn’t had a lot of opportunities to workshop, research or analyse the technicalities of a scene and the complexity of creating a whole and colourful character. My knowledge of how to approach theatre was with realism and churning up feelings of my own experience to bring the scene to life, a process I quickly learnt was not sustainable or truly entertaining for an audience to watch. 
A memorable key learning moment was in the first half term of my Acting Technique class when Tom asked us to write and present our life story. There was no requirement to share memories that were too exposing, the task wasn’t to compare past experiences but to create an environment where we build trust within the ensemble. A space we felt safe to share the moments and the people that shaped us to how we see the world in front of us. This was such a vulnerable task, but the informality and freedom over how you want to show yourself diffused unnecessary anxieties. I shared my current cycle of life through the structure of my menstrual cycle, my womanhood that through growing up was shamed and suppressed by my circle around me. This was so liberating, even though I was apprehensive to take that step, it allowed feelings of regret, acceptance, joy, grief and to feel loved be recognised and settled. I came away from this task feeling so content in having said my truth and not watered it down in fear of being rejected or not understood. This developed my confidence in using my voice in a room I normally prefer to listen and observe but not take the opportunity to share my own opinions. It also made me aware of the depth of the characters I would be taking on when working with text, they don’t just exist in the context of the play, they have lived an entire life through transitional moments, phases and life changing events.  They ‘gaze at the world through a thousand eyes’ and my life story helped put into context the depth of the people I would be stepping into. The reading of Women Who Run With The Wolves helps to ground myself in my artistry and what quality I want to bring into my work. 

A really challenging but rewarding element of the class was creating a character through a series of exercises that would finish with taking ‘Eleanor’ into the city centre with my classmates’ characters. Tom guided us through this exploration with the assistance of a mixture of Stanislavski and Uta Hagen exercises. As a class we began our transformation with choosing a random household object scattered across the floor that we attached a story to relating to our character. This item could be significant or unimportant to the character but it became a springboard to bounce ideas for my characters age, name, background and why they’re in leeds. This was similar to an earlier regression task towards a childhood object, regression is what Hagen states allows for substitution, a safe and consistent accessible method for emotion. Taking the characters into the city was the big finale but it was the long form improv Airport scene that allowed me to flesh out the intricacies of my character. This was a really engaging experience that was draining towards the end given it was a high stakes situation but allowed ‘Eleanor’ to respond to the chaos in real time without any preemption. It was so informative in learning what my character does to stay safe and how she responds to fear but also her relationships with strangers on an international solo trip. This was so helpful in my development because it allowed me to experiment with different possibilities for my character and highlighted areas that needed more attention and detail. Uta Hagen’s substitution helped to ground me at times I felt overwhelmed in the improvisation, reminding myself of my own experiences that relate to my character as Hagen says, I find it much more stimulating to say that I want “to find myself” in the part. Becoming someone else is not about losing yourself to turn unrecognisable; it’s planting yourself in your lived experience and transferring and adapting to mold around the character. This reading of Hagen’s ‘Respect for Acting’ created reassurance that I don’t have to lose myself to be in someone to be believable. 

After Christmas we had Alex lead our technique sessions, having a direct focus on working  through Uta Hagen’s 9 exercises. These exercises would eventually be layered on top of one another alongside text to build a vibrant scene. The two exercises that stuck out for me and will be carried through into each rehearsal room is endowment and the forthside. The forthside was the first exercise we worked on which encourages actors to look beyond the audience to allow them into the characters’ world. We then studied the endowing place, state and objects. Place in particular allowed me to exercise my imagination on such a big scale as I was attempting to transport myself from a rehearsal studio to a train station, pub or bedroom with real details from lived experiences. When applying this to the text Till the Stars Come Down it did initially add a lot to balance but with repetition it made my characters’ world believable, not just for the audience but for myself. Being certain in place and destination made me feel more comfortable and attached to a scene. 

IMPROV classes with Alex were daunting because of the nature of improv, you cant prepare or preempt what your partner is going to say, you just have to listen and respond. The pauses in the scenes initially felt like failures as I thought I wasn’t coming up with enough material but on reflection and feedback to the class, the silence added so much subtext to the scene and to the people performing. One of Keith Johnston’s principles is focusing on the here and now, by focusing on something that could’ve been in the scene; being present with your partner will allow more opportunities to move or be moved by one another. It’s taken my first year to be comfortable in playing and enjoying the process. This class gave so much time to observing my classmates’ work which were the times I stored most of my inspirations for characters from the bold choices they were leading with.

SCREEN with Phil has been a lovely introduction into the type of acting required for screen compared to stage. Phil focuses a lot on the different things required from the character and the actor. Having a separate focus on the characters conflict, objective and obstacle and the actors objective, dynamic and parallel. For the acting objective the grid provided by philip set out very clear and blunt things you wanted your partner to do, for example, ‘getting their head out their arse’ or to ‘see their own shit’. These objectives were simple and to the point which really helped me to land in the scene and to use different tactics to move my partner closer to achieving my objective. Phil also used some Meissner techniques like repetition of repeating observations of your partner in front of you which eventually gives way for new perspectives in a scene. Improvisation within the Meisner Technique posits that actors should only react when provoked by naturally occurring stimuli within the scene. When actors fully connect to a scene and the other performers, improvisation becomes organic, and reactions reflect the truth. Improv helped me to add more background information to the character when returning to the script allowed me to play with the subtext with more intention.